Twelve Steps Toward Anger Management for Parents.

1. The Purpose of Anger.

Step 1: Learn to identify what is behind the expression of anger, and make that a primary focus.

2. How Anger Is Mismanaged.

Step 2: Be aware of the ways you may choose to handle anger poorly, so you can be specific in your efforts to improve.

3. Healthy Ways to Manage Anger.

Step 3: When you have a responsible message to communicate, do so in a way that upholds the dignity of the others involved.

4. Breaking Your Cycles of Dependency.

Step 4: Have a strong sense of purpose as a parent in order to respond to anger-producing circumstances as an initiator, not a reactor.

5. Dropping Excessive Control.

Step 5: Realize that the best way to be in control is to diminish control tactics, speaking instead about choices.

6. The Struggle for Superiority.

Step 6: Refuse to lord over your child, but speak instead as one who believes in the equal worth of each family member.

7. Anger as an Ego Trip.

Step 7: Let humility be your guide as you demonstrate to your children that selfishness has no place in successful anger management.

8. Dropping Defenses.

Step 8: Don’t be threatened by an adversarial response, but be confident in your own response.

9. Establishing Boundaries.

Step 9: Respect the fact that each family member is responsible for his or her choices.

10. Myths That Perpetuate Anger.

Step 10: Identify the false assumptions that feed your anger, and let truth guide your decisions in discipline.

11. Displaced Anger.

Step 11: Identify your own outside stressors that create anger, and choose to address them separately, as opposed to bringing them into parental communication.

12. The Overcomer’s Mind-Set.

Step 12: Set aside an attitude of defeat, and recognize that in each situation you can choose to be an overcomer.

Appendix.

Anger, Teenagers, and Medication.

The Authors.