Preface: Be Like Elvis! But Less Dead vii

Introduction 1

Part I: Understanding the Reptile in Us

1. The Dinosaur Legacy: Why We Fight Poorly 13

2. Lizard Madness: Understanding Methods and Cycles in Stupid Fighting 35

Part II: Five Steps to Ending Destructive Fights and Evolving Toward More Loving Relationships

3. Step One: Assess Your Relationship 61

4. Step Two: Learn to Communicate in a Nonreptilian Manner 89

5. Step Three: Clarify Your Needs and Fears Together 109

6. Step Four: Add Positives and Build Intimacy 129

7. Step Five: Learn Nonreptilian Lovemaking 147

Part III: Special Issues for Evolving Reptiles

8. Once Bitten . . . : Surviving Betrayal 169

9. Reptiles in Therapy: An Introduction to Couples Therapy 193

10. Pure Divorce: If You Must, End and Leave Fully Human 209

Afterword: A Few Words in Closing 223

Notes 225

Resources 235

About the Author 247

Index 249